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May 19 2013

Old Bullets

My wife likes to claim I’m a packrat.  I like to explain that I am a collector.  One of the random things I like to collect are old bullets.  The photo shows some of my favorites: flintlock pistol balls from the English Civil War, Brown Bess musket balls from the US Revolutionary War, bullets and balls from the US Civil War and bullets from World War I.  The one I find the most amazing is a Confederate musket ball (second from the right on the top) that still carries the teeth marks of a soldier.  He must have been holding it in his teeth as he loaded his musket.  As I hold them in my hand I think how incredible it is that the wars that these were used in ended so long ago and yet the bullets are still here, virtually unchanged.

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Aren’t these like the unkind words we say?  I know that I am guilty of firing off words in anger, words that I usually don’t really mean, but that end up wounding those around me.  The arguments are long since over, but the words I’ve said still linger on buried in the hearts of those around me.

The worst are those that I’ve said to those people I love the most.  Those words, just like the tooth-marked musket ball, bear my personal marks.  Because I know those people so well I know just how to harm them the most.  Those are the comments that I regret the most and yet it seems that they are the easiest to say.

Thinking back in my life, I’ve never regretted not getting angry at someone.  I’ve only regretted saying or doing things in anger that have hurt those around me.  That’s why I’m striving to hold my tongue a little longer.

I’m also working on prying out those bullets that are lodged within my soul by forgiving others for unkind things they have said about me.  It seems that in most cases those that have offended me don’t even remember firing off those words and yet I have such a hard time letting go of those same words.  It’s as though I expect forgiveness for the things I say and do, but don’t grant that same forgiveness to others.  Of course, it doesn’t work that way – in order to be forgiven we must also forgive.

One of the aspects of the atonement that brings me the most peace is that it is not just for sinners, it is for those sinned against.  Not only can the Savior help us to put down our guns because He is the Prince of Peace, but He is also the Master Healer.  He is perfectly able to heal the wounds that we bear because of the wounds that He bore for us.

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May 12 2013

Mother’s Day and Gamma Rays

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The bottles above were both recovered from an old barn in New England.  They started out looking the same, but the one on the right was exposed to gamma rays.  It’s amazing to think about this process.  Gamma rays are just high energy photons – tiny particles of light.  When they interact with the glass molecules they change the structure of the glass and give it a nice lavender color.  But it’s not just one or two photons it’s trillions and trillions of photons, each making their indelible mark in the glass.  The process is invisible, but the results are permanent and they reach far beyond the surface of the bottle.

This reminds me of motherhood.  The process of being a mother is incredible – it’s a slow and thankless job.  I know that the hours are long and the pay is nonexistent, but as the son of a wonderful mother and the recipient of her boundless love I know what the effects are.  Her love, her example, and her endless prayers have permeated every aspect of my life and changed me for the better.  The faults I have (and the list is long) are my own, but all that is good and beautiful within me I owe to my mother.

So to my wonderful mother – thank you.  To my lovely wife, the mother of my children – thank you.  And to all of you mothers out there, whether you have children of your own or mother the children around you – thank you.  We may only celebrate Mother’s Day once a year, but my gratitude is constant and eternal.